Perfectionism is Preposterous

 
There are certain words that capture my attention and resonant deeply. This is a quote that came to me at just the right time and just the right place

There are certain words that capture my attention and resonant deeply. This is a quote that came to me at just the right time and just the right place

 

Striving for perfection has been my coping mechanism for about as long as I can remember. It is my attempt to control chaos, and hustle for and “earn” self-worth and belonging.  It also doesn’t work. Over the past couple years I have jotted down how it plays out in my life. I share this now in the hopes that, if this resonates with you, you know that you are not alone.

Perfectionism turns:

  • Inspiration into comparison

  • Intentions into expectations

  • Aspirations into greedy ambition

  • Inherent belonging into conformity to fit in

  • Guilt (“I do bad things sometimes”) into shame (“I am bad”)

  • Life lessons into regret and self-flagellation

  • Progress into “still deficient”

  • Malleability into rigidity

  • Faith and trust into the need for certainty

  • Joy into a quest for fleeting happiness

  • Productivity into an incomplete, never-ending “To Do” list

  • Connection into competition

  • Focused flow into hyper-focused obsession

When I’m living in perfectionism:

  • Relaxing into the natural flow of things gets hijacked by planning and control

  • Curiosity gets corrupted by a need for absolutes

  • The miracle of my creation turns into something not good enough to exist

  • Relaxation is only granted as escapism, avoidance and procrastination

  • FEAR of not being good enough halts creativity and paralyzes the trajectory of my life

  • My body becomes something to be curated and manipulated into an ideal rather than relished and celebrated just as it is

This awareness I have been granted has been profound, and has catalyzed an ever-evolving change in who I am, and how I interact with the world and others. Today I focus on being of service to others (Seva सेवा), and gratitude (Kritajna कृतज्ञा). The most powerful, tangible actions to cultivate this in my life have been:

Seva सेवा

  1. Volunteer

  2. Random Acts of Kindness

  3. Reaching out to Others

Kritajna कृतज्ञा

  1. Letters of Appreciation to the Unsung Heros of my Life (people who have lifted me up and impacted my life)

  2. Thank you notes

  3. Gratitude Lists

What works for you? I would love to hear your journey. Please feel free to contact me if you’d like to share with me.

Jessica Claflin